Food Blog #2: Sandwich Geometry (A subset of Non-Euclidean Geometry)

You know what really grinds my gears?

Ever notice how bread is square and bologna (or any sort of sandwich meat) is often round?

First of all, let me give all claims to Family Guy since this idea comes from the episode, Stewie B. Goode, but I felt that I could attack this topic.

Now, I am not a fan of Bologna (mainly because of the pronunciation error that I have), but I will speak for all deli meats that are usually round, but not square.

I find that the meat companies are using round slices mainly to skimp on how much meat they have to produce. Think about this: Do you get a bite of meat in every bite of sandwich? Because I certainly don't. And it's not just bologna, but also salami, turkey, ham, and the list goes on.

Unfortunately, this puts the bread companies at a disadvantage, since they produce more bread than the meat companies produce meat. In an economic recession, the bread to meat ratio should be as close to one for optimal snacking.

Now the cheese companies are smart, since they have square slices (except those in the provolone business), but there should be a complete harmony between all three.

And this is why I believe that the Spam industry will grow without bounds because of its square meat-like substance. So if you plan to invest in the stock market, the Hormel Company is a good place to go.

And that is what grinds my gears.

Cameron