Shaq, Don't Be a Tweet!!

You know what really grinds my gears?

The Twitterverse is my next attack, specifically in light of Shaq's retirement over Twitter. For my unaware readers, which wouldn't be any of you since you all are "hip with the times," Shaquille O'Neal, a great basketball player, announced his retirement in a video, and then a link to that video was made available to his followers on Twitter.

Now granted, he was gracious enough to provide us with a 15-second video announcing his retirement instead of cramming it into 140 characters, but really? Twitter has really expanded to such worldwide fame, so I will give Shaq credit for reaching out to his 3.85 million followers in a quick fashion. But he just tweeted a link; no information about the link, just, a link. If I were one of his followers, I probably wouldn't have clicked the link...until the twitterverse exploded with the popular trending topic (a.k.a. a hashtag) #shaqretires.

I'm not upset about the fact that he is retiring. He's been in the business for a long time and I'm sure he's tired. I'm just upset that he essentially summed up his retirement in the 26 character link. He had 114 more characters to use! That could have been plenty of room for an inspirational quote, a hashtag, or even four more links, so he could have split up his retirement video in 5 3-second clips! (For those of you that read The Onion, you will understand that last bit)

I'm also very upset with his method of retiring. Really Shaq? Twitter? This was the perfect opportunity for you to take out an hour time slot on ESPN to announce your retirement in a dramatic interview with Jim Grey. You could've had a press conference with the media right there in the room, and they would have every well-calculated statement ready. Hey, if it's worked for Brett Favre 12 times, it would've worked for you.

Well, this was an opportunity lost for you, Mr. O'Neal. I suppose you'll have to un-retire and come back, then retire again (see Brett Favre above). But you've made a great run in the NBA, you're a great citizen with your work in the Sheriff reserves and multiple charities, and you're a great conductor (look it up). I wish you a happy retirement, even though you'll never read this blog post.

Now for the rest of you, summing up your lives in 140 characters. Twitter was created so you could be stalked easier, not so you could spill your entire lives to the twitterverse! That's why Tumblr and Facebook were created. Save it for there. (Also, since I'm on the topic of Twitter, I would like to add that hashtags are #unacceptable on Facebook, but that's another post)

And that's what really grinds my gears.